Just in case

 

'Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.' | Voltaire

Wonder if Voltaire ever aired his feet in some thongs? Or sandals? Left my pair of black flip flop thongs pool side, wearing some light blue ones....!

Family

part of night is spent thinking. negative thoughts flow easier than positive. negative abt me? no, never ever faced self doubt. the belief that it can be done does not exist. the desire to do it isn't. negative waves of emotional suicide. killing oneself has never been planned. but does the desire to cease be limited to physical, does the desire to end the spiritual/emotional life have the same value? not to be there anymore without the help of others; no longer here.
what helps make security check easier to go through? pair of black thong flips...Still rocking 'em?

In Dormant States

Chaps,
Many things come to light in the break of day. Just not much light shone on them for others to see.
It is what it is. You know how it goes. Some sayings convey a few feelings and more factual standing. Long nights of seeing night turn to day often lets me wonder; tired and puilling all nighter....hello chaps. Time to go fishing.

Business

The main idea of a successful business is the most simple of ideas make the most interesting. Taking into account what the end result is going to be starting tends to be the most difficult.
So may ideas of what should it be about, so many ideas of what the goal should be, sometimes it just needs to be. Thw whole concept should as simple as a one liner in a movie (two if your living of the edge).
I thinking i'll start from there? We'll see where it takes me.

More than my Flips....

Summer is wearing on me. One major reason is my feeling of distance with my family. Don't see anyone much and I don't talk to them either. Nephews and nieces are growing and I am not a part of their life. Its a dangerous place to be, a stranger to those that share your DNA. It does have a un-settling feeling in me when I remember their ages and past experiences. Do I really want to be a memory of small chunks? It has me troubled and concerned.
Lost my flips, variable cost just kicked in. Still wearing my black flip flops, just circulating and not on my feet.

Time are individual packets
Of decisions
Either made or ignored.
What transpires affects
The next packet.
And gradually branches
Bloom.
Experience the bread crmbs that shows
Way.

Have a gift certificate that have held on for years. It was a birthday gift from a close friend. Since I am one of the hardest people to shop for she gave me that. The card was for a store that's now defunct and no longer in existence. Never knew why I kept considering I never really shopped there to beginning with. More of a sentiment considering who gave it to me.
The story, as I stop with unnecessary info distribution, is really about how I have measured time. I knew how long I have had the gift card every time I see it, but that changed a few days ago when the years of my ownership was said aloud. For some reason I got upset. The gift card was 7 years old and hearing that number with the word years hit a nerve.
7 years what had my life become? Any achievements to speak of? Had I graduated? Started the fortune 500 company I promised to with my MBA? Started a family? Found a partner? Grown closer to my family? My anger came from not finding anything; nothing at all.
"The anger comes once you have seen now what could have been if you has started then; fear and depression will follow once you see what will happen tomorrow knowing where you are now."

I have thoughts. Shouldn't sound exceptional everyone has them. Some more than others, many less than they realise.
Always wondered about my thoughts, why they are and what they mean. Using both bench marks I fail trying to place the thoughts in their right boxes.
Question becomes what boxes do they fit in or should they be in boxes at all? That question takes me one another journey, one that I can't take since still on one now.
Searching for how and what my thoughts are and mean. Would make life a decimal spot more understanable....more bearable and worthy of continuing....let's fit those questions in box an store it the other questions I never know how to answer, at least that I know where to put, not sure I should leave it there.
'still sling the black flops'

Twenty three thirty nine

Always at a point
Seen, known but
Never discovered.
A point where I end
Ending in ways that I can feel
Clarity, senrity, rest.
With that I rest,
I cease?

7th day

I started counting off a few days ago. Counting off to what you ask? Not
sure really. I have to make a decision about my life, about me. Been
stuck in invisible box that mvoes with me where ever direction I turn.
Its a very stubborn enclosing, can't break it cause I never really know
where it is.
So a count down has insued. On the day I just decided. No 'pro' or 'con'
lists put together just one decision made and carried out and hope we
start a new count.
No black flip flops today, todays feet ornaments were white socks.
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